Follow our tell tale signs to spot if someone you know – your mum, your dad, your boss – is an ex-raver.

1988. That’s the year that rave was born in the UK apparently and the scene exploded onto an unsuspecting world. As any old crusty will still tell you (if only you’d listen), that was when dance music meant something and the parties never stopped.

Well, that was nearly 20 years ago and the majority of ‘pioneer’ ravers packed it in years ago; most now have good jobs, a mortgage and a brood of kids in tow.

But whether a work colleague, a mate or even your parents, there are a few tell tale signs that despite the respectable façade they like to portray, gives everyone away as an ex-raver.

They are an ex-raver if:

They have a taxi driver’s knowledge of old industrial estates, derelict buildings and small out-of-the-way farms not far from the M25, despite growing up and still living in Manchester.

They roll cigarettes that always seem to be suspiciously larger at the end, coned even.

They think modern dance music is too commercial.

They would be up for Glastonbury but say they can’t afford it (Truth: they know they’ll get divorced if their partners see them revert to raving form).

They are always a little bit vague about what they did and where they lived during their early twenties.

They have a weird tattoo of the symbol for some now long defunct techno record label on their arm.

They use the word ‘Safe,’ ‘Wicked’ and ‘Fat’ all the time, even when in work meetings or chatting to their elderly parents.

They know their way around Amsterdam as if they were a local.

They dance badly and way-too-fast to whatever type of music is playing, even the slow songs a la Whitney Houston, as played at weddings.

They chat to the DJ, even at the local pub or at family weddings, and usually request something inappropriate like the Prodigy or N-Trance.

They rarely drink alcohol these days and are often on health kicks: making up for years of bad, bad habits.

They buy organic food and have at least one old friend from ‘back in the day’ who is white but has dreadlocks.

They hate all nightclubs, no exceptions.

They never intend going to Ibiza.

They have a set of turntables in the loft.

They have a box full of flyers from past raves in the loft.

They own several whistles and have a set of white gloves in the cupboard.

They have an old Kiss 100 sticker on the back window of their car.

They went to the Hacienda night club.

Their favourite music is ‘chill out,’ despite the fact they are always in bed these days by 10.30pm.

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